People come to therapy for a lot of different reasons. Ideally, you come because you want to know yourself at greater depth, and you want to bring more skill to your relationships. You want to live more deliberately and in greater alignment with your deepest values and aspirations. You want to be more emotionally open and available and bring greater skill to your relationships.
But that’s not why most people come to therapy. We come because we’re in pain. Something in our life or in our relationship isn’t working and our best efforts to “fix the problem” haven’t worked. Therapy is about relieving emotional pain—stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, grief, shame. It’s about healing old wounds; uncovering and letting go of negative beliefs and ineffective patterns of behavior.
Therapy is a collaborative process. It’s not at all: you tell me your problems and I tell you what to do. No. Rather, it’s you and I working together as a creative team. For that to happen, you need to get that I’m real, that I’m not just talking to you out of the clouds. And you need to get that I really do genuinely care about you and want the best for you. With that kind of relationship as our base, you and I will then work to create a series of treatment goals or desired outcomes. These need to be very clear and have real meaning for you. And then, lastly, the work we do each session needs to feel relevant to you and on target towards the goals we’ve set.
When therapy works it affects every aspect of your life. I honestly can’t think of a more worthwhile investment.